worth a gander, will make you laugh

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Nick
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worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by Nick »

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.


James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
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Mash
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by Mash »

bahahaha, this is great.
Kareem R
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bills09
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by bills09 »

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MSP4LYFE
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by MSP4LYFE »

bills09 wroteCOLONhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jwplAc90ek

This is better
It's pretty cruel to laugh at that, but I did...
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Nick
PostsCOLON 16044
JoinedCOLON Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:15 am

Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by Nick »

MSP4LYFE wroteCOLON
bills09 wroteCOLONhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jwplAc90ek

This is better
It's pretty cruel to laugh at that, but I did...
proud to say I was kinda sad and just clicked away.
bills09
PostsCOLON 9280
JoinedCOLON Mon May 03, 2010 5:10 pm
LocationCOLON Pickering, Ontario

Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by bills09 »

facey wroteCOLON
MSP4LYFE wroteCOLON
bills09 wroteCOLONhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jwplAc90ek

This is better
It's pretty cruel to laugh at that, but I did...
proud to say I was kinda sad and just clicked away.
Proud to say I laughed for like 20 minutes at this.
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Tony
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by Tony »

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bills09
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by bills09 »

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Robin Hood
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by Robin Hood »

lol thats straight out of the West Wing. anyone a fan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc
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The BBKL Insider
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Re: worth a gander, will make you laugh

Post by The BBKL Insider »

Thats funny as hell, i'm going to copy and paste this into a word document....

My parents are die-hard religous and they arn't Pro-homosexuality either....that being said, when the topic comes up i remind them that the bible says - breaking any law of the land is viewed upon as badly as murder or homosexuality in the bible; therefore, one speeding ticket and your off to hell....

but hell, his stuff is way better than mine...
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